One thing that can stunt your growth as a human is not knowing how to forgive people. Not forgiving those who have harmed you in some way is a recipe for self-doubt and being stuck in the past unable to move forward happily and successfully. These steps to help you forgive people will help you if you do them.

  1. Number 1 – Pinpoint the Source of Your Pain – You must know how you got hurt very precisely to forgive anyone anything. If you cannot name it, you won’t be able to give the forgiveness you need to move on.
  2. Number 2 – Spell Out Your Hurt Feelings – Once you are sure why you have been hurt and that someone has wronged you or even accidentally hurt you, now you can spell out those feelings to the person. Remember to use “I” statements.
  3. Number 3 – Don’t Forget About You – If the source of your hurt is yourself, that’s okay too. You can also forgive yourself for any part you had in hurting yourself even if ultimately it was someone else. You may own your own role in it while forgiving yourself.
  4. Number 4 – Dig Deep for Empathy – Even people who have harmed you deserve your empathy. That is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes without ever having experienced the same thing.
  5. Number 5 – Do Not Make Conditions for Forgiveness – When you forgive someone you cannot make any conditions on the forgiveness, or else it’s not complete, and you may still suffer from the emotions of the hurt if you cannot let it go.
  6. Number 6 – Develop an Attitude of Gratitude in Your Life – Focus on being grateful for everything in your life by keeping a gratitude journal. When you see everything, you have going for you, forgiveness will seem a lot easier.
  7. Number 7 – Trust People Again Until They Prove Otherwise – Even when you’ve been hurt being too timid to live fully can get in the way of your happiness. Instead, trust people as if no one has ever hurt you until they prove otherwise.
  8. Number 8 – Get Professional Assistance – For some people, they may need counseling to learn how to forgive without being a doormat. There are life coaches and certified counselors that can help you.

Remember that forgiveness is something you really do for yourself most of the time. You can forgive people in your heart who you never see again or allow in your life again. You don’t have to be a doormat to be a forgiving person. In fact, the more forgiving you are of others, the easier you are on yourself too. Remember, you are human, as are other humans. Humans are inherently flawed creatures, and that’s okay also.